i was not looking forward to class today. it's one thing to absorb the news of a friend's death when you are alone. you don't have to worry about crying in front of people. but it's another thing to have to go to school and face other people that are feeling the same grief as you.

emotions were running high and some people seemed to be dealing with it better then others. but everyone was feeling it.

i just don't understand why it was Krista. i mean, you don't want to wish this on anyone, but as someone said, she was the one person who was going somewhere in her life. she spent the last two summers working in a clinic in kenya. she was going to become a doctor. she would have been the type of person who would have won some kind of award for humanitarian work.

i found out details of how the accident happened. a 17-yr old kid driving a pickup truck was passing traffic on a busy two lane street. he passed on a solid yellow line and hit krista's car head on. his truck was totalled. her car was unrecognizable.

in an instant.

the visitation is tomorrow afternoon. i'm going to that with a few people from the program. the funeral is on saturday. i think our entire third year class is going.

For Krista...

i received some sad news today. one of my friends and colleague in the nursing program was killed in a car accident on the mountain last night.

i wasn't especially close with her. we didn't hang out together every friday night or anything. but we used to study together occasionally. and she was the type of person you would stop and talk to in the hallway or the library. she always asked how you were and what was up in your life.

she was an extremely bright person. she put everything into her assignments. she was going to go to medical school. in fact, she was accepted for an interview.

she was sweet and nice. the kind of girl you like.

Krista Cantwell, you will be greatly missed.

BSc in Google, minoring in major BS

So, as the school year draws to a close, i feel it incumbent upon me to state some minor observations i have made throughout the year. the order in which these observations are listed are in no way meant to reflect their importance or priority in any nursing students life.

1. a nursing student will spend more time searching for research on Google then on any official university/college database. the reason for this is simple: it's easy and the tutors don't know any better. with the advent of scholar.google.com, it has become even easier.

2. if you spend at least an hour in the library on any given day, but especially between the hrs of 11 and 2pm, you can be assured of hearing more gossip then you would get in the National Enquirer. women gossip. nurses gossip. women nurses are in a league of their own!!!

3. the nursing program is intended to make you hardened and cynical. you see, the majority of nurses are hardened and cynical. and these are the women that have created and run this program. it only makes sense. after one semester in the program, you begin to hear comments such as "i hate this program" and "i hate this program". actually, that's all you hear.

4. and finally, the evaluations you hand in for first year in clinical are the same ones you hand in for third you. sure, there's a few minor changes, but seeing as how tutor's do not talk to each other, no one knows. and its amazing how much BS can go on an evaluation. hence, the minor in BS.

so, to all my fellow nursing students who are no doubt reading this as a way to put off writing our horrible assignment, be proud of your degree. no one else can search google, gossip, and BS their way into a cynical career like you can!!!

i should be in a good mood. why? well....i just had coffee with a friend i haven't seen in ages. we were able to catch up at chat for a while, which was nice. he drove in from stoney creek to sit and chat for 45 min, even though he needed to go to burlington.

but i'm not in a good mood. why am i not in a good mood?

1. the library is for studying, people. not catching up on the latest gossip in the nursing program. i do not care what your ex-whatever did to your best friend. i do not want to hear you complain about all your assignments. and i sure don't care that your clinical/pbl/population health/whatever tutor is mean. if you want to talk....go to the lounge, that's what it's there for!!!

2. there is no point to an assignment that has you repeat the same thing THREE TIMES!!! seriously....it's pointless. if i'm right the first time, i'm right the 2nd and 3rd.

3. i have nightclass. enough said. can't wait to hear what ms. feminazi-men-are-the-cause-of-all-the-world's-problems has to say.

4. ok....i don't have a 4th point. this is it.

i'm just burned out. i want school to end and i really want to go to tanzania.

i am officially procrastinating. and what better way to do it then creating a new post? i have an assignment due this friday. it's for the course from hell: Research Methods and Critical Appraisal. i can safely say i have learned nothing from this course other then how to BS my way to a passing grade. i have no idea how i have, until this point, managed to pass my assignments and the pitiful exam we had a couple weeks ago.

this "final assignment" that i'm working on is 35% of my final grade. so if i totally bomb it, it's not like it's going to break me. i should still pass the course. but it does have the potential to bring up my mark substantially if i smoke it. but i cannot get motivated. it's a stupid, redundant assignment. i'm basically repeating myself over and over again. and the problem is that they want you to. so the question i have to answer is:

"Does the use of cannabis among adolescent males affect the age of onset of symptoms of schizophrenia?"

my brother in law, anton, put it so beautifully: so, a mind-altering drug alters your mind?

it could be an interesting topic, if all the fun wasn't sucked out of it. i have to critically appraise 3 articles on this subject. and to make sure i know what i'm doing, i then do a five page write-up summarizing the problem and the findings of the critical appraisals which i've spent hours doing. and just to drill it in a bit more, then i have to do an oral presentation that summarizes the writeup and the critical appraisals.


geesh. let's not over do it here people!!